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All My Mother

from Dark Winning by Das Phaedrus

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lyrics

All My Mother

What’s the big beat up on lies?
Lies are just the story you felt like telling at the time
And lies, they can change your mind:
Make you see that they were right and you were wrong
Most of the time
My favourite one has to be: things look better from a distance
Well that’s the only view I’ve had
Seems the entire budget’s been torn to shreds:
Paid over to a bounty on my head
This establishing shot was pretty well established
Long before we ever met
Your landscape loves the camera
But I fear the human element is one you may regret

But now all my…

And all the crime’s off-screen but it walks back in as you walk back out on the street tonight
Have you ever thought of ‘love interest’ as an oxymoron, a paradox that falls in flight?
Drama and disaster: validation for the leading man, if you can stand him
Let’s feed him his own intestines until he admits his best lines were never in the script
Nor were they natural talent: they were the fine print in a redacted contract
Which if you ever find, you’ll discover my name listed as a party to this

But now all my…

I’ve been so long undercover I can’t remember any other life before this
I know I was at your audition – telling you to undress first, then we’ll tell you about the role
I also played the state trooper in the marshland
Late on the second day when they found you
A dis-establishing shot, shot low to take in the burn of the city skyline
Just another dead actor, making love to their own cellphone camera
Checked your folks at the service, in between a beer and several of those catered sandwiches
Your folks were pretty much like those: edges cut, white bread, filled with what the fuck you don’t know with
Had you up there on the screen: 2, 7, 17, 23: so that’s a life then
Nothing funeral IT couldn’t rustle up for a grand or 3 – and so that’s a wrap then

But now all my…

Decamped to the car to smoke and reflect on my only three words to you: take it off
To be honest, I expected better…but it’s all in the expectation anyway
On a whim, I trailed your motorcade to the clifftop ashy dust dance for a laugh
Full frontal Pacific…on reflection, you were still a potential romance
Totally miscast though, I have to say in your role as a human freelance
I’ll head back to my den, find your screen test reel
And we can have that last dance

But now all my…

But now all my mother’s coming out of my eyes
I’ve been so many men, told so many lies
But now all my mother’s coming out of my eyes
I’ve been so many men, told so many lies
But now all my mother’s coming out of my eyes
I’ve been so many men, told so many lies
But now all my mother’s coming out of my eyes
I’ve been so many men, told so many lies

credits

from Dark Winning, released May 27, 2022

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